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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Study Links Meat, Cheese To Early Death

According to a new study, people between the ages of 50 and 65 with diets high in animal protein like meat and cheese were 74 percent more likely to die prematurely than those getting their protein from plant-based sources like beans and nuts. What do you think?

  • “It’s sad to think of all those elderly vegans with no one left to condescend to.”

    Alex Gallagher Systems Analyst
  • “What are you trying to say? That there’s some sort of link between meat, cheese, and early death?”

    Beth Forrest Coat Rack Assembler
  • “Yeah, but what a way to go.”

    Arthur Rogerson Flag Sewer
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