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Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Study: Majority Of Web Traffic Not Human

Researchers found that humans accounted for only 38.5 percent of the traffic on the internet in 2013, with the remaining 61.5 percent of traffic being driven by bots, automated hacking programs, and various other computer scripts that emulate human actors. What do you think?

  • “Oh no. I’d hate to see the internet fall into the hands of unemotional automatons that do nothing but surf the web all day.”

    Theodore Gomez Systems Analyst
  • “I bet all those robots are procrastinating from building a car or something.”

    Ellie Light Candle Maker
  • “Cool post it is definitely. My friend has been looking for this tips. Pure Wood Stock Designs Here.”

    Ben Affleck Pics FREE Ashton
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