Study: Meerkats Have Dark, Sinister Side

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Frenzied Trump Supporters Admit They’d Be Just As Happy Tearing Him To Pieces

‘We’re Just Mad And Want To Destroy Something,’ Say Candidate’s Backers

WASHINGTON—Saying they simply needed something to direct their anger toward, the nation’s frenzied Donald Trump supporters admitted Thursday that, if circumstances were different, they would be just as happy tearing the Republican frontrunner to pieces.
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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Study: Meerkats Have Dark, Sinister Side

Contrary to their portrayal in cartoons and shows like Meerkat Manor, which depict them as cute and cuddly, a new study has found that meerkats can actually be mean and sinister, with females banishing other moms from the group and eating their offspring to create babysitters for their own pups. What do you think?

  • “When you’ve been in the public eye as long as meerkats, things like this are bound to surface eventually.”

    Harry Gondelman
    Deck Sweeper
  • “Are you telling me selectively edited footage of meerkats scored with cartoonish music might not have been giving me the full story?”

    Marjorie Suzman
    Scarf Knitter
  • “Like the brooding anti-heroes of cable television, we don’t have to condone their actions to be compelled by them.”

    Peter Broadhead
    Unemployed