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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Study: Men Who Post Selfies More Likely To Be Narcissists, Psychopaths

According to a new study, men who post self-portraits, or “selfies,” on the internet are more likely to be narcissists and show signs of the antisocial trait psychopathy. What do you think?

  • “Good thing I have a variety of ways I demand people pay attention to me.”

    Megan Henner Sales Associate
  • “Fine, I’ll just post another picture of my car today.”

    Rich Miller Consultant
  • “I’ll say whatever you want as long as you show my picture.”

    Brett Nichols Investment Analyst

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