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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Study: Men Who Post Selfies More Likely To Be Narcissists, Psychopaths

According to a new study, men who post self-portraits, or “selfies,” on the internet are more likely to be narcissists and show signs of the antisocial trait psychopathy. What do you think?

  • “Good thing I have a variety of ways I demand people pay attention to me.”

    Megan Henner Sales Associate
  • “Fine, I’ll just post another picture of my car today.”

    Rich Miller Consultant
  • “I’ll say whatever you want as long as you show my picture.”

    Brett Nichols Investment Analyst

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