Study: Morning Light Can Help You Lose Body Fat

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Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.
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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Study: Morning Light Can Help You Lose Body Fat

According to a new study, people who regularly expose themselves to early morning sunlight by waking up early are more likely to have a lower body mass index. What do you think?

  • “So I just have to wake up at the crack of dawn and start exercising? I’m sorry, but that sounds just a little too easy.”

    Gavin Harreman
    Systems Analyst
  • “Yeah, but I only wake up early so I can try to squeeze in a second breakfast before Sell This House! comes on.”

    Charlie Lundberg
    Technical Analyst
  • “Good. I’ve been looking for another thing that isn’t diet and exercise.”

    Margaret Chapman
    Case Worker