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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Study: Morning Light Can Help You Lose Body Fat

According to a new study, people who regularly expose themselves to early morning sunlight by waking up early are more likely to have a lower body mass index. What do you think?

  • “So I just have to wake up at the crack of dawn and start exercising? I’m sorry, but that sounds just a little too easy.”

    Gavin Harreman Systems Analyst
  • “Yeah, but I only wake up early so I can try to squeeze in a second breakfast before Sell This House! comes on.”

    Charlie Lundberg Technical Analyst
  • “Good. I’ve been looking for another thing that isn’t diet and exercise.”

    Margaret Chapman Case Worker

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