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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Study: Nearly Half Of Americans Can’t Swim

According to a new study by the Red Cross, 46 percent of Americans who say they know how to swim can’t perform the five water safety skills that are essential for saving oneself from drowning. What do you think?

  • “If we have to learn all that stuff, then what the hell are we paying all the lifeguards for?”

    Tim Fernandez Outlet Inventory Planner
  • “Rising sea levels will weed them out soon enough.”

    Oliver Brogan Gift Wrapper
  • “Can’t we just strap them to the other half who can?”

    Amanda Firmani Still Photographer
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