Study: Nearly Half Of Americans Can’t Swim

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  • Man’s Body Running Out Of Ideas To Convince Him He Full

    BAYTOWN, TX—Having repeatedly ratcheted up the 34-year-old’s level of discomfort with no noticeable effect on his behavior, the body of local man Kent Dugan confirmed Wednesday that it was starting to run out of ideas to convince him that he was full.


Study: Nearly Half Of Americans Can’t Swim

According to a new study by the Red Cross, 46 percent of Americans who say they know how to swim can’t perform the five water safety skills that are essential for saving oneself from drowning. What do you think?

  • “If we have to learn all that stuff, then what the hell are we paying all the lifeguards for?”

    Tim Fernandez
    Outlet Inventory Planner
  • “Rising sea levels will weed them out soon enough.”

    Oliver Brogan
    Gift Wrapper
  • “Can’t we just strap them to the other half who can?”

    Amanda Firmani
    Still Photographer