Study: People Appear More Beautiful In Groups

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.

Study: People Appear More Beautiful In Groups

Researchers in California found that individuals’ faces are rated as more attractive when they appear alongside those of other people, with the scientists saying that a person’s asymmetries and disproportional features appear to “average out” in groups. What do you think?

  • “So all those cheerleaders I had crushes on in high school were actually hideous?”

    Dick Twomey
    Mica Inspector
  • “Which is why I continue to get off on every photo of Congress I can get my hands on.”

    Pauline MacLachlan
  • “No wonder I tuned out once Sting went solo.”

    Ray Dixon
    Noise Abatement Engineer