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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Study: Popularity Can Raise Risk Of Being Bullied

Contradicting the common belief that bullies primarily target social outcasts, a new study has found that children who move up the social ladder to become more popular can also experience bullying. What do you think?

  • “It cut like a knife when kids used to mock my nice clothes and rugged good looks.”

    Brent Cronin Litigation Attorney
  • “What about the forgotten kids in the middle? Isn’t anyone going to make fun of them?”

    Marcia Krister Medical Supply Retailer
  • “This is why I only wear my Oakley wraparound shades at home.”

    Dan Oster Systems Analyst

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