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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Study: Premarital Cohabitation Doesn’t Raise Risk Of Divorce

Contradicting previous studies claiming premarital cohabitation leads to divorce, research from the University of North Carolina has found that living together before marriage has little or no effect on marriage success rates. What do you think?

  • “I prefer the surprise of finding out that a spouse is impossible to live with.”

    Erick Besser Freelance Consultant
  • “Did they happen to mention how much it increases your chances of going to hell forever, though?”

    Jane Kurant Systems Analyst
  • “And you save a lot on utilities.”

    Alec Kirhoffer Police Dog Trainer

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