adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
End Of Section
  • More News

Study: Psychedelic Mushrooms May Be Good For Brain

According to a study published in the journal Human Brain Mapping, the chemical psilocybin, which produces the hallucinatory effects experienced by people ingesting psychedelic “magic mushrooms,” may also produce feelings of optimism and happiness that last months after the mushrooms are consumed. What do youthink?

  • “Maybe, but I still wouldn’t recommend taking a huge wad of them at a Green Bay Packers game.”

    Meredith Gorman Medical Waste Packager
  • “Glad these researchers were able to grow back their arms and write down their findings.”

    Doug Katz Head Ethicist
  • “Come on, aren’t there any drugs left that just fuck you up?”

    Mitchell Langley Worm Technician

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close