adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Study: Settling For Adequate Partner Better Than Waiting For Soulmate

According to researchers who studied the risk-taking behavior of early humans, people are better off, from an evolutionary standpoint, settling for a mate who’s available but maybe not the most ideal choice instead of waiting for a superior partner to come along. What do you think?

  • “The happiest day of my life was when I computed that I was statistically unlikely to improve upon Jennifer.”

    Robert Reedy Exhibit Designer
  • “If only Hollywood could capture the thrill of settling.”

    Helen Wilson Airbrusher
  • “Damn. And I’ve been going to college and jogging every day like a sucker.”

    Gordon Salinas Locomotive Inspector

More from this section

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close