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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Study: Settling For Adequate Partner Better Than Waiting For Soulmate

According to researchers who studied the risk-taking behavior of early humans, people are better off, from an evolutionary standpoint, settling for a mate who’s available but maybe not the most ideal choice instead of waiting for a superior partner to come along. What do you think?

  • “The happiest day of my life was when I computed that I was statistically unlikely to improve upon Jennifer.”

    Robert Reedy Exhibit Designer
  • “If only Hollywood could capture the thrill of settling.”

    Helen Wilson Airbrusher
  • “Damn. And I’ve been going to college and jogging every day like a sucker.”

    Gordon Salinas Locomotive Inspector

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