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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Study: Sexy Facebook Profile Pics May Hurt Women At Work

According to a new study, choosing to use a sexy profile picture on Facebook and other social media sites may hurt women’s careers because coworkers are more likely to judge them as being less competent workers. What do you think?

  • “Have I mentioned lately that I’m glad to be a man?”

    Joe Halperin Systems Analyst
  • “I wish there was a way to just quit Facebook altogether.”

    Amelia Conner Hamper Stacker
  • “Aren’t there any upsides to being sexy?”

    Grant Ellerin Marine Biology Expert
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