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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Study: Smokers Bad For Workplace

A new study shows that smokers have a poorer-than-average work performance and call in sick more than non-smokers. What do you think?
  • "I smoke and it doesn't affect my performance at work. Even if it did, I can quit my job anytime."

    Ryan Van Duyne Admissions Officer
  • "I don't see what's wrong with wanting to take a few days to yourself to get some important smoking done."

    Arch Potts Mobile Disc Jockey
  • "I think this can all be solved if smokers simply switch to pipes. Who doesn't appear smarter and more productive with a pipe?"

    Pepper Day Neurosurgeon
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