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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Study: Too Much TV Can Lead To Early Death

According to an eight-year study published by the Journal of the American Heart Association, people who excessively watch television have a significantly higher risk of premature death from cardiovascular disease, cancer, and other causes than those who don’t. What do you think?

  • “Hey, somebody’s got to be out there every day, risking his or her life to watch all these shows.”

    Rob Murray Panel Moderator
  • “But what about those times my heart races during a romantic monologue? Is that not exercise?”

    Jennifer Volness Piano Teacher
  • “How cruel that these people are robbed of so many years that could be filled with watching more TV.”

    Henry Jacobson Car Wash Supervisor
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