adBlockCheck

Recent News

Report: You Have Won!

Head To TheOnion.com To Redeem Your Winnings

WINNER’S CIRCLE—Sources are reporting that you, valued Onion reader, have won!
End Of Section
  • More News

Study: Universe Probably Not Computer Simulation

By studying the quantum behavior of particles, two physicists claim to have disproved a theory that our physical universe is just an elaborate simulation. What do you think?

  • “I’m going to have to start making better decisions then.”

    Richard Prokash Shellac Applier
  • “It’s nice to know I’m not part of a random, meaningless simulation but rather a random, meaningless reality.”

    Dan Wiedeman Boat Valet
  • “No computer would be this cruel.”

    Sarah Balistreri Shot Put Judge

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close