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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Study: U.S. Anti-Smoking Efforts Have Saved 8 Million Lives

The Journal Of The American Medical Association estimates 8 million American lives have been saved by anti-smoking measures since 1964, when the first surgeon general’s report on the dangers of tobacco was published. What do you think?

  • “I wish the government would mind its own business and stop saving my life.”

    Calvin McCue Systems Analyst
  • “Imagine how many more lives would have been saved if Mötley Crüe’s cover of “Smokin’ In The Boys Room” hadn’t gotten to them first.”

    Rob Siler Staffing Consultant
  • “Yeah, but I bet a lot of those people will still end up dying some way eventually.”

    Angela Krugg Custom Decorating Adviser
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