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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Study: U.S. Anti-Smoking Efforts Have Saved 8 Million Lives

The Journal Of The American Medical Association estimates 8 million American lives have been saved by anti-smoking measures since 1964, when the first surgeon general’s report on the dangers of tobacco was published. What do you think?

  • “I wish the government would mind its own business and stop saving my life.”

    Calvin McCue Systems Analyst
  • “Imagine how many more lives would have been saved if Mötley Crüe’s cover of “Smokin’ In The Boys Room” hadn’t gotten to them first.”

    Rob Siler Staffing Consultant
  • “Yeah, but I bet a lot of those people will still end up dying some way eventually.”

    Angela Krugg Custom Decorating Adviser

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