Study: U.S. Anti-Smoking Efforts Have Saved 8 Million Lives

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Study: U.S. Anti-Smoking Efforts Have Saved 8 Million Lives

The Journal Of The American Medical Association estimates 8 million American lives have been saved by anti-smoking measures since 1964, when the first surgeon general’s report on the dangers of tobacco was published. What do you think?

  • “I wish the government would mind its own business and stop saving my life.”

    Calvin McCue
    Systems Analyst
  • “Imagine how many more lives would have been saved if Mötley Crüe’s cover of “Smokin’ In The Boys Room” hadn’t gotten to them first.”

    Rob Siler
    Staffing Consultant
  • “Yeah, but I bet a lot of those people will still end up dying some way eventually.”

    Angela Krugg
    Custom Decorating Adviser