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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Study: Video Games Make Kids More Aggressive

Contradicting previous research indicating that video games don’t negatively affect children’s behavior, a new study has found that playing games makes kids react to real-world situations in hostile and aggressive ways. What do you think?

  • “The question is, are violent teens more drawn to these games? And if so, which games and how much do they cost? I’m scrambling to find something for my son’s birthday.”

    Willi Harper Systems Analyst
  • “My child was an angry and confused boy long before we got him an Xbox.”

    Marilynne Britz Home Goods Reviewer
  • “I can see this being true for a violent, angry game like Call Of Duty, but what about more subtle, poetic works of art such as Gears Of War?"

    David Robertson Dinner Guest Seater

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