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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Study: Women Fake Orgasms To Increase Sexual Arousal

A new study has found that in addition to faking orgasms for the purpose of protecting a partner’s ego and ending sex, many women fake orgasms in order to increase sexual arousal so they can work themselves up to an actual orgasm. What do you think?

  • “Women do the hottest stuff when you leave them sexually unsatisfied.”

    Grant Herlihey Warehouse Supervisor
  • “If I’m not needed then why am I wasting my time doing this?”

    Daniel Alleway Historical Map Archivist
  • “Women who can’t even orgasm through intercourse alone must have something really wrong with them.”

    Matthew Aronson Catering Menu Planner
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