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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Study: Women Who Give Birth Later Live Longer

According to a new study from the Boston University School of Medicine, women who naturally conceive and give birth to their last child after age 33 are twice as likely to live to age 95 as those who give birth to their last child before age 30. What do you think?

  • “But what about the effects of not giving birth to a tiny, life-draining monster?”

    Christine McCaffrey Archery Instructor
  • “And here women still complain about how hard it is to have it all.”

    Ben Woods Systems Analyst
  • “Gross. Who would want to have sex past age 33?”

    Daniel Henningsen Cement Mixer
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