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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Study: Yelling At Teens As Harmful As Hitting

According to a new study, yelling, swearing, or directing insults at one’s teenage children does not correct their negative behavior and can cause the same psychological problems as hitting them would, including depression and aggression. What do you think?

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    Jim Pagels Cake Decorator
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    Hannah Oley Blood Analyst
  • “So...push them?”

    Tristan Walker Architect
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