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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Study: Zebra’s Stripes Not For Camouflage

New research has confirmed that the zebra’s stripes, commonly believed to provide camouflage, do not actually assist in evasion since the stripe pattern becomes evident only after a predator has already smelled the zebra, leaving the reason for the stripes a mystery. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, well, then tell me why I’ve never seen a zebra before.”

    Garrett Schaffer Efficiency Tracker
  • “Viewers of reality TV have always known that zebra stripes are definitely not for camouflage.”

    Carol Whitmouth Kerning Consultant
  • “Ha! My roommate owes me $12!”

    Jeremy Cimafonte Sock Darner
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