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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Subway Now Largest Restaurant Chain

Last year, the sandwich chain Subway surpassed McDonald's as the franchise restaurant with the most locations in the world. What do you think?

  • "I hope Subway doesn't let this go to its head and become complacent about offering a mediocre meal at a barely reasonable price."

    Jenna Gray Systems Analyst
  • "Aha! I knew the fresh bread smell was getting stronger!"

    Lee Anderson Glue-Mill Operator
  • "So a few hundred million of us like to watch people toast bread for 45 seconds, okay?"

    Jesse Seiber Unemployed
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