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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Sugar-Free Drinks Might Cause Dental Issues

A new study suggests that the chemical acids in sugar-free drinks like diet soda can cause measurable harm to tooth enamel, an erosion that is just as damaging as the tooth decay caused by regular soda. What do you think?

  • “Deciding between obesity and dentures is a choice every soda drinker has to make at some point.”

    Gary Stephens Systems Analyst
  • “It’s just so hard to get that phosphoric acid kick anywhere else.”

    Wanda Jefkenn Pug Handler
  • “Then will someone please inform me what beverage I can safely drink 11 cans of per day?”

    Mort Russell Bricklayer

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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