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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Sugar-Free Gum Linked To Diarrhea

Doctors in Berlin have found that sorbitol, the artificial sweetener found in many sugar-free gums, can lead to chronic diarrhea and considerable weight loss. What do you think?
  • "I look and smell great, so what if I have a little diarrhea?"

    Wendy Beauvoir Choir Director
  • "It also leads to a million friends asking for a stick of your gum. Jeez. If you want gum, bring it yourself!"

    Wes Funa Hair Stylist
  • "Doesn't affect me. I was born a Hubba Bubba man, I'll die a Hubba Bubba man."

    Chris Smith Systems Analyst

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