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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Suicide Bombings In The U.S.?

According to intelligence officials, al-Qaeda or another terrorist group may one day attempt to carry out a suicide bombing on U.S. soil. What do you think?
  • "Sept. 11 was meant to weaken our nation's resolve, but it only strengthened it. One or two more attacks should weaken it, though."

    Ron Dempster Custodian
  • "Suicide bombing is the coward's way out. Tainting a city's water supply with a rare and lethal compound from deep space is the evil genius' way out."

    Eric Lattimore Truck Driver
  • "Did you say I can get unlimited DVD rentals from Netflix.com for just $19.95 a month? Oh, you said suicide bombers may attack here. Never mind."

    Tom McEwan Systems Analyst
  • "As long as we heed the vice-president's urging to generally be on alert for things, our nation is impregnable."

    Nate Tucker Electrical Engineer
  • "Turn on the TV these days, and all you see is sex and potential violence."

    Melinda Collins Homemaker
  • "The U.S. is safe, so long as the terrorists don't see us being critical of President Bush."

    Diana Reese Lab Assistant

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