Suicide Bombings In The U.S.?

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


Suicide Bombings In The U.S.?

According to intelligence officials, al-Qaeda or another terrorist group may one day attempt to carry out a suicide bombing on U.S. soil. What do you think?
  • "Sept. 11 was meant to weaken our nation's resolve, but it only strengthened it. One or two more attacks should weaken it, though."

    Ron Dempster
  • "Suicide bombing is the coward's way out. Tainting a city's water supply with a rare and lethal compound from deep space is the evil genius' way out."

    Eric Lattimore
    Truck Driver
  • "Did you say I can get unlimited DVD rentals from for just $19.95 a month? Oh, you said suicide bombers may attack here. Never mind."

    Tom McEwan
    Systems Analyst
  • "As long as we heed the vice-president's urging to generally be on alert for things, our nation is impregnable."

    Nate Tucker
    Electrical Engineer
  • "Turn on the TV these days, and all you see is sex and potential violence."

    Melinda Collins
  • "The U.S. is safe, so long as the terrorists don't see us being critical of President Bush."

    Diana Reese
    Lab Assistant