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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Suicide Rate Up Sharply Among Middle-Aged

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the suicide rate among Americans between the ages of 35 and 64 increased by 28 percent between 1999 and 2010. What do you think?

  • “They’re just going through a phase. Let it pass.”

    Alexandra Bozian Wax Molder
  • “Speaking for myself, I’d say the suicide rate has stayed about the same.”

    Roderick Callesen Furnace Installer
  • “Doesn’t anyone cry for help anymore?”

    Bodie Del Boccio Street Light Wirer
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