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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.
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Sun Chips Abandons Biodegradable Bag

After numerous complaints that the new biodegradable Sun Chips bag was "too noisy," Frito Lay announced that it was returning to the original packaging. What do you think?

  • "Maybe they wouldn't have encountered so much resistance if they hadn't tried to position the product as a funeral snack."

    Dave Fox Systems Analyst
  • "I tried to sneak a bag into a movie theater and security tackled me as soon as I got out of my car."

    Elisa Gittins Convention Organizer
  • "Are you kidding me? I crafted my entire freshman year persona around being the 'Sun Chip Asshole.'"

    Paul Kenemore Student

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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

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