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Super Bowl XLIV Most-Watched Show Ever

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Super Bowl XLIV Most-Watched Show Ever

With 106.5 million people tuning in, Sunday's Saints-Colts Super Bowl became the most-watched program in U.S. history, drawing 500,000 more viewers than the 1983 series finale of M*A*S*H. What do you think?
  • "Not only that, but the weight of the average viewer has increased by about 42 pounds since then."

    Claire Belew Brass Plater
  • "I tuned in mainly for the Tim Tebow ad. I'm still on the fence about whether he should have been aborted. I'll know better once he's drafted into the NFL and plays four or more seasons as a starter."

    Sascha Clamp Systems Analyst
  • "To keep its ratings high, maybe CBS just needs to play hit songs from the Who during most of its TV shows. Oh, wait."

    Pete Weymouth Frame Nailer

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