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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Supercomputer On 'Jeopardy'

IBM, the company that built master chess computer Deep Blue, is working on a new machine that developers hope can participate in Jeopardy. What do you think?
  • "That's stupid. The only reason to watch Jeopardy is to see how people write out their names."

    Amanda Albert Systems Analyst
  • "Yes! It's gonna work, and those IBM guys will be laughing all the way to the bank with their Jeopardy winnings."

    Mike Kuban Dog Walker
  • "Winning at chess and Jeopardy is all well and good, but I’ll be impressed when a computer can beat the Philadelphia Eagles—in Philadelphia.”

    Kevin Hicks Rail Inspector
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