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Superstorm Sandy Kills 38

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Superstorm Sandy Kills 38

Though downgraded to a post-tropical cyclone, Sandy has left 38 U.S. residents dead, cut electricity to 8.2 million, flooded large swaths of the Eastern Seaboard, and prompted President Obama to declare a “major disaster” in New York and New Jersey. What do you think?

  • “Fortunately, I’ve had uninterrupted access to all the usual social media platforms I complain on.”

    Sophie Bickford
    Unemployed
  • “Good thing Obama ordered that mass shipment of federal towels so we can finally start drying everything off.”

    Stephen Shamberg
    Lumber Tallier
  • “Is this something we’re going to have to never forget? Because my memory is close to full on those things.”

    Roger Comfort
    Caddie

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