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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Supply Of College Graduates Outstripped By Workforce Demand

Though the number of people graduating from college in the United States every year is increasing, it is still not enough to keep pace with employer demand. What do you think?

  • "It's not going to be easy to raise college graduation rates, but I know our nation has what it takes to systematically and drastically lower academic standards to achieve this goal."

    Ashley Pope Audit Clerk
  • "That's right. If there's one thing we can all agree is wrong with our country right now, it's all the vacant jobs."

    Brent Gorman Systems Analyst
  • "Oh, no. So you're saying the future is going to have even more stuffy little shit coworkers who won't shut up about their semesters in Peru?"

    Louis McGahan Bran Mixer
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