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Supreme Court Begins ‘Obamacare’ Hearings

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Supreme Court Begins ‘Obamacare’ Hearings

The U.S. Supreme Court has begun three days of hearings on the constitutionality of the Obama health care plan. What do you think?

  • "Not with my tax dollars they won't!"

    Nick von Wernherr Systems Analyst
  • "The arguments center on whether the health care law's monetary penalty against the uninsured cannot be challenged due to an 1867 law stripping federal courts' jurisdiction in lawsuits intended to halt collection of a tax, but that's complicated, so just put me down as saying 'Nobamacare!'"

    Rachel Brady Plaster Mixer
  • "To be honest, these big hearings bore me. I like it better when the Supreme Court considers stuff like whether Kiss owes money to Vinnie Vincent."

    Aaron Grove Unemployed

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