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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Supreme Court Eliminates Cap On Individual Campaign Donations

The Supreme Court voted to remove the cap on the overall amount of money individual donors can give to political campaigns, arguing that previously held limits of $48,600 donations to candidates and $74,600 to political party committees violated the First Amendment. What do you think?

  • “This is a victory for all of us who can’t express ourselves without spending over $50,000 at a time on political campaigns.”

    Harry Gondelman Event Programmer
  • “Well, you can’t expect corporations to take on the burden of American democracy all on their own.”

    Bethany Miller Curriculum Expert
  • “That’s okay. All I had was $123,200 anyway.”

    Dave Zimmer Legal Consultant

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