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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Supreme Court Eliminates Cap On Individual Campaign Donations

The Supreme Court voted to remove the cap on the overall amount of money individual donors can give to political campaigns, arguing that previously held limits of $48,600 donations to candidates and $74,600 to political party committees violated the First Amendment. What do you think?

  • “This is a victory for all of us who can’t express ourselves without spending over $50,000 at a time on political campaigns.”

    Harry Gondelman Event Programmer
  • “Well, you can’t expect corporations to take on the burden of American democracy all on their own.”

    Bethany Miller Curriculum Expert
  • “That’s okay. All I had was $123,200 anyway.”

    Dave Zimmer Legal Consultant
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