adBlockCheck

Supreme Court Hears Landmark Gay Marriage Cases

Top Headlines

Recent News

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Supreme Court Hears Landmark Gay Marriage Cases

The Supreme Court will hear arguments today challenging the constitutionality of California’s gay marriage ban, while tomorrow’s hearings will focus on benefits denied to same-sex couples by the federal Defense of Marriage Act. What do you think?

  • “I’m just glad I don’t have a gay son or daughter, otherwise I might have to put some actual thought into my position.”

    Howard Bach Keg Varnisher
  • “Defense of Marriage Act? Oh, that sounds nice. I hope they vote for that.”

    Dan Steenhagen Fire Inspector
  • “I just can’t get excited for this case after the roller coaster ride that was FTC v. Phoebe Putney Health System, Inc.

    Pamela Kelson Zipper Trimmer

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close