adBlockCheck

Recent News

Report: You Have Won!

Head To TheOnion.com To Redeem Your Winnings

WINNER’S CIRCLE—Sources are reporting that you, valued Onion reader, have won!
End Of Section
  • More News

Supreme Court Hears Landmark Gay Marriage Cases

The Supreme Court will hear arguments today challenging the constitutionality of California’s gay marriage ban, while tomorrow’s hearings will focus on benefits denied to same-sex couples by the federal Defense of Marriage Act. What do you think?

  • “I’m just glad I don’t have a gay son or daughter, otherwise I might have to put some actual thought into my position.”

    Howard Bach Keg Varnisher
  • “Defense of Marriage Act? Oh, that sounds nice. I hope they vote for that.”

    Dan Steenhagen Fire Inspector
  • “I just can’t get excited for this case after the roller coaster ride that was FTC v. Phoebe Putney Health System, Inc.

    Pamela Kelson Zipper Trimmer

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close