Supreme Court Hears Landmark Gay Marriage Cases

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City Adds Some Big Concrete Stairs

They’re For Sitting On Or Running Up Or Something

CHICAGO—Noting the structure’s considerable size and prominent location in a busy public park, local residents confirmed Tuesday that the city had installed some big concrete stairs that were probably for sitting on or running up or something like that.
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College Freshman Decides To Be Lanyard-Wearing Kind

ANN ARBOR, MI—Emphasizing that this was not a choice he had made lightly, University of Michigan student Kevin Peterson told reporters Thursday that he had officially decided to become one of the lanyard-wearing kind of freshmen.

Supreme Court Hears Landmark Gay Marriage Cases

The Supreme Court will hear arguments today challenging the constitutionality of California’s gay marriage ban, while tomorrow’s hearings will focus on benefits denied to same-sex couples by the federal Defense of Marriage Act. What do you think?

  • “I’m just glad I don’t have a gay son or daughter, otherwise I might have to put some actual thought into my position.”

    Howard Bach
    Keg Varnisher
  • “Defense of Marriage Act? Oh, that sounds nice. I hope they vote for that.”

    Dan Steenhagen
    Fire Inspector
  • “I just can’t get excited for this case after the roller coaster ride that was FTC v. Phoebe Putney Health System, Inc.

    Pamela Kelson
    Zipper Trimmer