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Supreme Court Hinders Consumer Rights To Sue

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Jogger Clearly On First Run Of Plan To Turn Life Around

CHICAGO—Taking note of the man’s beat-up tennis shoes, sweat-drenched shirt, and ill-fitting pair of sweatpants as he made his way down the sidewalk, witnesses reported Tuesday that area jogger Dan Andreychuk was clearly out on his very first run of a plan to turn his life around.

What’s At Stake In New Hampshire

With the New Hampshire primary election Tuesday poised to impact the course of the 2016 presidential race, The Onion examines what’s at stake for the candidates
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Supreme Court Hinders Consumer Rights To Sue

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled last week that companies could force dissatisfied customers into individual arbitration and prevent them from banding together in a class-action lawsuit. What do you think?

  • "Arbitration! Now there's my golden ticket to minor gains."

    Lydia Kivacevic
    Bath Mix Operator
  • "Call me old-fashioned, but I still like to deal with my issues with companies by reaming out one of their lowest-level employees who had absolutely nothing to do with the problem and possesses no ability to resolve the matter whatsoever."

    Rory Parsons
    Systems Analyst
  • "Mmm…Supreme Court. Ugh. Great! Now I'm aroused."

    Morgan Ball
    Facility Examiner

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