Supreme Court Justice Robbed At Knifepoint

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Vol 48 Issue 07

Oh Fuck, What The Fuck Is That?

Animal 7 p.m. EST/6 p.m. CST A woman talks about the time she saw what had to be a centipede just sitting there in her bathroom—covered in fur and the size of her fucking arm—but when she came back it was gone and that's even more terrifying.

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Come Away With Me

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Supreme Court Justice Robbed At Knifepoint

While vacationing in the Caribbean, Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer and his family were robbed of $1,000 by an intruder wielding a machete. What do you think?

  • "What was Justice Alito doing in the Caribbean with a machete?"

    Danielle Rogerson
    Systems Analyst
  • "As a mugging victim, I can sympathize, because it happened to me—except for the part about walking around with $1,000 in the tropics. Come to think of it, the bastard had it coming."

    Tyrone Poland
    Waiter
  • "That's why I always rob nobodies. Give me all your money."

    Dan Lehrer
    Thief
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