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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Supreme Court Repeals Defense Of Marriage Act

The Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act by a vote of 5-4 today, with moderate justice Anthony Kennedy writing the majority opinion, stating that the law deprived citizens of “equal liberty” under the Fifth Amendment. What do you think?

  • “I wish I didn’t have to move to the right side of history so soon.”

    Winnie Frankland Hydrostatic Tester
  • “I’m moving to Canada. But this was a nice bit of news before I start my new job up there.”

    Charlie Logan Systems Analyst
  • “There goes the room they have at the bowling alley for wedding receptions.”

    Dwayne Brickert Zipper Repairer
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