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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Supreme Court Repeals Defense Of Marriage Act

The Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act by a vote of 5-4 today, with moderate justice Anthony Kennedy writing the majority opinion, stating that the law deprived citizens of “equal liberty” under the Fifth Amendment. What do you think?

  • “I wish I didn’t have to move to the right side of history so soon.”

    Winnie Frankland Hydrostatic Tester
  • “I’m moving to Canada. But this was a nice bit of news before I start my new job up there.”

    Charlie Logan Systems Analyst
  • “There goes the room they have at the bowling alley for wedding receptions.”

    Dwayne Brickert Zipper Repairer
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