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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Survey: 1 In 10 Women Prefer Pets To Partners

One-tenth of women in an English survey reported that they loved their pets more than their relationship partners, while nearly a third of women said they loved their pets and their partners an equal amount. What do you think?

  • “Not me. My dog’s a lying, cheating sack of shit.”

    Melanie Sardi Addiction Counselor
  • “Yeah, I’m not afraid to admit I’m not a great catch compared to most pets.”

    Beau Graves Farrier
  • “Makes sense. Who can love anything for more than 13 to 15 years?”

    Marc Sweatman Biochemist
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