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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Sword Stolen From Lincoln's Tomb

Thieves stole a 3-foot copper sword from the tomb of Abraham Lincoln's final resting place in Springfield, IL. What do you think?

  • "Weird. I would have taken his skull."

    John Hamson Precast Molder
  • "The prophecy says that whoever wields Lincoln’s sword, Grant’s revolver, and Reagan’s Levi’s will lead the Republican nation to a prosperous 1,000-year reign."

    Kimberly Wills Junction Maker
  • "Thanks for letting me know. I’ll spread the word to all my secessionist scrap metal buddies."

    Chris Endeacott Window Washer

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