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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Sword-Wielding Man Shot At Scientology Building

A security guard shot and killed a man who approached the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood waving two samurai swords. What do you think?
  • "I hear the Samurai Celebrity Centre next door was none too pleased."

    Marlon Ratliff Glass Blower
  • "I don't understand. Who wants to meet Kirstie Alley that badly?

    Heather Hickman Art Teacher
  • "What an outlandish and wildly far-fetched story. Of course, as a Scientologist myself, I naturally believe every word of it without question."

    Walter Santrello Lighting Tech

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