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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Sword-Wielding Man Shot At Scientology Building

A security guard shot and killed a man who approached the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood waving two samurai swords. What do you think?
  • "I hear the Samurai Celebrity Centre next door was none too pleased."

    Marlon Ratliff Glass Blower
  • "I don't understand. Who wants to meet Kirstie Alley that badly?

    Heather Hickman Art Teacher
  • "What an outlandish and wildly far-fetched story. Of course, as a Scientologist myself, I naturally believe every word of it without question."

    Walter Santrello Lighting Tech

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