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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Syria: Chemical Weapons Won't Be Used On Civilians

A spokesman for President Bashar al-Assad's government said it would never use its presumed stockpile of cyanide, sarin, and mustard gas against Syrian citizens amid the nation's ongoing uprising. What do you think?

  • “But that’s half the fun of chemical weapons.”

    Tim Muran Obstetrician
  • “And yet out of all of Obama’s many lofty promises to us, did he ever once vow not to murder or gas us to death? No, he did not.”

    Melissa Preville Systems Analyst
  • “Thank goodness. I hate when genocide is inhumane."

    Katharine Goldfein Fermentation Operator

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