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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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T. Rex Skeleton Put Up For Auction At Casino

A nearly complete skeleton of a Tyrannosaurus rex found in South Dakota was put up for auction at the Venetian casino in Las Vegas last weekend. What do you think?
  • "What if you just want a couple of bones, for soup?"

    Sampson Mooney Die-Maker Apprentice
  • "I think I'll just keep playing the slots until I win one."

    Tara Czukay Tour Agent
  • "And to think, just 65 million years ago, that majestic animal likely had some dignity.”

    Joseph Schmidt Galvanizer
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