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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Taco Bell Adds ‘Quesarito’ To Official Menu

After testing out a new menu item called the quesarito in Oklahoma City to much success, Taco Bell has decided to add the new creation, a beef burrito tucked inside a cheese quesadilla, to its official menu. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but how’s the item going to do in markets not filled with a bunch of food snobs?”

    Tyler Dunn On-Set Tutor
  • “I don’t think this could possibly compare to my homemade quesarito recipe where I take a Taco Bell beef burrito and manually insert it into a Taco Bell quesadilla.”

    Milly Feldman Muralist
  • “We Americans are powerless against edible portmanteaus.”

    Aaron Mallard Overhead Crane Operator

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