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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Taco Bell Adds ‘Quesarito’ To Official Menu

After testing out a new menu item called the quesarito in Oklahoma City to much success, Taco Bell has decided to add the new creation, a beef burrito tucked inside a cheese quesadilla, to its official menu. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but how’s the item going to do in markets not filled with a bunch of food snobs?”

    Tyler Dunn On-Set Tutor
  • “I don’t think this could possibly compare to my homemade quesarito recipe where I take a Taco Bell beef burrito and manually insert it into a Taco Bell quesadilla.”

    Milly Feldman Muralist
  • “We Americans are powerless against edible portmanteaus.”

    Aaron Mallard Overhead Crane Operator
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