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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Taco Bell To Begin Taking Smartphone Orders

Taco Bell announced its plan to launch a new mobile app allowing customers to order their food on their smartphones, which functions by using the phone’s GPS to determine how close the customer is to the pickup location. What do you think?

  • “Could I also share each order to my social networks? I think my followers deserve that.”

    Bob Mayall Grant Writer
  • “But part of the Taco Bell experience is waiting the three minutes for your food to be ready.”

    Jenny McKillop Bead Sorter
  • “Oh, I always know how far I am from a Taco Bell.”

    Don Kember Crane Operator
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