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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Taking Pictures Harms Memory

According to a recent study, individuals were less likely to remember details of objects they saw if they took photographs of these items rather than if they simply observed them. What do you think?

  • “So that’s why the memory of last week’s steak sandwich is slowly dwindling away.”

    Lance Ashmont Iron Smelter
  • “Which is why I take a moment and marvel at every upskirt before snapping a photo.”

    Daniel Culver Unemployed
  • “Ah, so I’m the one who’s been putting those pictures on my phone? It all makes sense now.”

    Rita Dow-Moore Sod Grower
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