Talking Air Safety

Top Headlines

Recent News

Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Talking Air Safety

Several recent high-profile plane crashes, including an Oct. 31 EgyptAir disaster that claimed 217 lives, have once again caused airline safety to come into question. What do you think?
  • "I feel we should all make airline safety a top priority, devoting as much attention to it as possible for two or three weeks after every major crash."

    Janice Hough Speech Pathologist
  • "Actually, air travel is still safer than driving, especially if you need to go to Europe or Asia."

    Robert Christopher Architect
  • "When I think of the people lost in this latest tragedy over the Atlantic, I can't help but ask: Why didn't they use their seat cushions as a flotation device? Why?"

    Marlon Tompkins Systems Analyst
  • "How's about they have some kind of spare plane on board in case anything happens to the regular plane?"

    Kenny Eccles Prep Cook
  • "I stopped flying on commercial jets when I discovered that there's something else that has wings: my imagination."

    Iris Fallon Nurse
  • "Sorry about that EgyptAir thing, but those planes take fuckin' hours to inspect, and, well, I got a social life, you know."

    Daniel Foti Airplane Mechanic


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close