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Talking Air Safety

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
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Talking Air Safety

Several recent high-profile plane crashes, including an Oct. 31 EgyptAir disaster that claimed 217 lives, have once again caused airline safety to come into question. What do you think?
  • "I feel we should all make airline safety a top priority, devoting as much attention to it as possible for two or three weeks after every major crash."

    Janice Hough Speech Pathologist
  • "Actually, air travel is still safer than driving, especially if you need to go to Europe or Asia."

    Robert Christopher Architect
  • "When I think of the people lost in this latest tragedy over the Atlantic, I can't help but ask: Why didn't they use their seat cushions as a flotation device? Why?"

    Marlon Tompkins Systems Analyst
  • "How's about they have some kind of spare plane on board in case anything happens to the regular plane?"

    Kenny Eccles Prep Cook
  • "I stopped flying on commercial jets when I discovered that there's something else that has wings: my imagination."

    Iris Fallon Nurse
  • "Sorry about that EgyptAir thing, but those planes take fuckin' hours to inspect, and, well, I got a social life, you know."

    Daniel Foti Airplane Mechanic

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