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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Talking Tax Reform

Tax season was recently upon us once again, and with it came widespread calls for reform, including simpler forms and a more streamlined filing process. What do you think about making tax-filing less complicated?
  • "With e-filing, the government's seizure of nearly half my assets was quicker and easier than ever this year."

    Caroline Reece Waitress
  • "I agree that there is a major need for Rax reform. They routinely fail to maintain a well-stocked salad bar, and the waitstaff is quite rude."

    Ed Howard Systems Analyst
  • "Technically, I work for the U.S., but as an Indonesian shoe-factory worker, I'm lucky enough not to have to pay taxes."

    Ubit Batangpang Shoe-Factory Worker
  • "Taxes?"

    Gordon Biasucci Custodian
  • "For all the taxes I pay, I should at least be allowed to use the roads. What? Really? Hot damn!"

    Nelson Childs Chiropractor
  • "I pay almost 40 percent of my total income in taxes, but at least it pays for a top-notch educational system, responsible community policing and comprehensive health care. Of course, I'm Canadian."

    Liz Dryden Teacher

More from this section

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

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