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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Taxpayer Information At Risk

A recent government report concluded that the IRS has not adequately protected the data on 52,000 IRS laptops. What do you think?
  • "What about the desktops? Shouldn't we be worrying about those too? Never underestimate the brute strength of an identity thief."

    Felicia Keir Systems Analyst
  • "To be fair, the IRS has a lot of other stuff to worry about, like adequately protecting the data on their thousands of laptops."

    Gregory Teedle Marine
  • "This shall be the new reason why I don't pay taxes. To hell with 'no income' and 'laziness.'"

    Arnold Velmeir Store Manager
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