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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Teachers' Job Satisfaction Lowest In 25 Years

According to a survey of the nation’s primary and secondary educators, less than 40 percent reported feeling very satisfied with their jobs, the lowest level in a quarter century. What do you think?

  • “If these people want to be happy, they never should have become teachers in the first place.”

    Alia Kite Munitions Worker
  • “Hey, not everyone can be lucky enough to be a quality control tester at a yogurt factory like me.”

    Logan Sweeney Quality Control Tester
  • “Haha! Take that, Mrs. Kucharski! I told you I’d win in the end!”

    Kevin Callery Furniture Packer

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