adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Teachers' Job Satisfaction Lowest In 25 Years

According to a survey of the nation’s primary and secondary educators, less than 40 percent reported feeling very satisfied with their jobs, the lowest level in a quarter century. What do you think?

  • “If these people want to be happy, they never should have become teachers in the first place.”

    Alia Kite Munitions Worker
  • “Hey, not everyone can be lucky enough to be a quality control tester at a yogurt factory like me.”

    Logan Sweeney Quality Control Tester
  • “Haha! Take that, Mrs. Kucharski! I told you I’d win in the end!”

    Kevin Callery Furniture Packer
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close