Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Teachers Misinform Students On Climate Change

A recent survey found that many teachers are inadvertently instilling climate change denial in students by suggesting global warming is equally the result of human activities and natural causes. What do you think?

  • “Well, now their colleges will have something useful to teach them.”

    Beau Rafferty Program Namer
  • “It’s so hard for teachers to know what’s right, what with the overwhelming abundance of scientists saying the exact same thing.”

    Adrian Baird Unemployed
  • “But surely our students are still being given a proper overview of the Treaty of Tordesillas?”

    Gladys Pullman Systems Analyst
More Videos


More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.